The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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