There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
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He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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