Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
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Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
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But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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