Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
50% drunk capacity currently
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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