To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
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had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
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I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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