i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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