whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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