it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
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were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
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My bed is full of blood and feathers
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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