Define "chronic" masturbator.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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