Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize