Screwed.edu
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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