In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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