I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize