Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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