Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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