Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize