Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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