I don't think brook has ever known best
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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