I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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