I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
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My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
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We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I FOUND THE LEGS
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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