ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
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A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
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Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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