I have demons in me.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He shit in the fireplace
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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