Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize