Betty ford says i'm here all night
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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