I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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