4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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