i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize