At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize