He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize