Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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