It's Friday. Sex?
are you so shy because you have an std?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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