sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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