I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize