I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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