You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize