My room smells like vodka and shame
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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