the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think I am morally bankrupt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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