My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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