the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
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You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
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You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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