why didn't you poke me back
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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