I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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