Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize