Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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