Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize