All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize