That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize