so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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