Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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