Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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