Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
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I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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